A Family in Chaos

I am a firm believer than men DON’T dance!! That is to say… they SHOULD NOT dance!! 

Cooper was dancing with his sister, and fell and smacked his forehead on the coffee table! The picture does not do this injury justice…it swelled up like a Titlelist in about 30 seconds!! 

He obviously inherited my grace, rhythm, and style! 

I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I have face planted a coffee table, while attempting the Boot Scoot Boogie, or the Electric Slide!! 

It was not always a coffee table, there was a parked car once, as well as a table full of beer and Marines….Yep, they wanted me to pay for all of their beers, but ever the frugal guy, I refused… and showed them my Track & Field skills instead… That means I shot putted a pitcher at them, and busted out my 100 yard dash! 

Anyway, I think it’s a matter of Nature vs Nurture…and it is just not NATURAL for MAN to dance!! Sure…they can be taught, they can learn!! But it AIN’T NATURAL! 

Men learn to dance for one reason….to further the race…to sustain our species…for the same reason we endure “FILMS”…. men like “MOVIES”, not ‘FILMS”!! 

We dance cause WOMEN like to!! If women suddenly replaced their enthusiasm for dancing with something else, we would learn that, too! 

FOR EXAMPLE: If by chance, attractive young women all of the sudden decided that instead of going to dance clubs on the weekend, they all started going to the library, AND the library began to serve BOOZE….VOILA…THE DEATH OF THE NIGHTCLUB!! 

Men everywhere would be READING!! 

See even those “Guidos” on the Jersey Shore would be carrying around a book tote! 

Can you picture the movie Saturday Night Fever taking place in the Library instead of the Disco??? 

“You can tell by the way I read my book, I’m a women’s man, no time to talk! Card catalogue and woman warm, I’ve been researchin since the day I was born!” 

Man’s basic needs are food and shelter…. 

ever hear of a caveman dancing….nope! 

Know why??? 

Cause he could club his woman over the head and drag her ass home!! 

He didn’t have to impress her… Just OPPRESS HER!! 

AHHHH! THE GOOD OLE DAYS!!